I’m proud to announce my T-shirt and tank line! Most of the designs are based on my balloon-quote photography, and they were illustrated by my talented friend Jen Van Horn. The profits from two of these designs will go to SMYRC, a Portland based resource center for sexual- and gender-minority youth.
In addition, they’re available in extended sizing, and a ton of color combinations. Please click here to browse the designs and thanks for supporting queer art!
We meet like any other guy I meet online: “Hey how’s it going? You’re handsome and seem interesting.” He either replies, or does not. If he does, it then becomes a delicate conversational dance to eventually work up to meeting up. In my case, that delicate dance is usually a stumbling waltz to bad music and I end up falling onto the other guests, grasping at a tablecloth and then I’m pulling the buffet down on top of us. In this instance, though, this guy Jerry is startlingly handsome, and is weirdly nice. He compliments my photography and we chat about our jobs, our art. We seem to vibe well, the chatting is easy and kind, which is a relief after a couple recent incidents online with clearly unhinged people. Jerry mentions he travels a lot and it’s then I look at his profile closer, he lives across the country. Because of course he does.
It’s around this time that someone else messages me. It’s Jerry’s partner, Ben. He says they’re in an open relationship and he finds me attractive too. Oh! Continue reading
I’m happy and grateful to present Episode 1 of my webseries, This Ends Badly! It’s the result of a large group effort, and we all learned a *lot*. For example, I learned that sound is somewhat important. Who knew? (Everyone did, Mike. Literally everyone.)
I made my first YouTube video! Wow I’m only like, 10 years behind the trend. In this video, I talk about the “empathy void” we seem to have found ourselves in lately, and what we can do about it in the future. Please take a look, and let me know what you think. The transcript of the video is below the jump. Continue reading
You wake up the next morning, Wednesday morning, and you hope it has been a nightmare. The rain falls outside in the black Oregon morning like tears and you realize it was not a dream. You log into social media and see the grief, the fear, and occasional glib comments, the jokes about moving to Canada. There is little uglier than the gloating of uneducated white people when their side wins.
How did we get here? you think to yourself. I thought this was locked down. But that’s it, isn’t it? You had been living in an insulated bubble for so long with like-minded friends whose values were the same. You lived in Los Angeles for 12 years before Portland, and now having been in Portland for 3 1/2 years; it has been easy to think that the rest of the country could see through the charlatan peddling snake oil. Hell, it appeared sometimes like even he was incredulous about his odds, that he was there just to symbolically show everyone how ridiculous the system was. On election day, you went to work with confidence bordering on hubris. That evening, as you headed to a bar to meet friends to watch the results, you stared at your phone with a creeping dread and disbelief. Continue reading
Part 5 of 5. To read previous parts, click here for Part 1.
It’s the holiday season in 1991, and I’m a freshman in college. I’m coming back home to Albuquerque from spending time in Los Alamos, New Mexico, with my first boyfriend Max. I met Max’s family there, saw Star Trek 6 with him in an empty movie theater while I whispered the complicated galactic politics to him. We secretly made out whenever possible: to this day, I have a soft, nostalgic spot for the Drakkar Noir cologne he wore. We get back to our dorms on the UNM campus, and I get the call from my sister: something is wrong, come to the house right away.
I open the front door to my parents’ house, and my life is never the same after that. I see my sister’s tear-stained face, she’s in the living room with her husband Bob. My Dad is stoic but barely keeping it together while my grandmother shuffles around in her slippers, not understanding exactly what happened. My mom is wandering from room to room in the old Victorian house, incoherent, apoplectic, wailing with grief. I know then that my big brother John is dead. This is what it looks like when a family explodes from the inside out. Continue reading
Do this, exactly: Wake up on your forty-first birthday in 2014 on Thanksgiving, and finally feel happy, feel ready for what’s next. Realize that although there’s a lot you have in common, break up with a very sweet man who you’ve been seeing for a few months. Hunker down and make some fun art, take some silly pictures, spend Christmas in a snowless Portland winter. Spend time with friends, miss your family who you can’t see very often around the holidays because of your day job. Continue reading
I was invited to give a 10 minute talk on the evolution of courtship rituals, both traditional and modern, for the JAKETalks in Seattle, on February 21st of this year. The following is a rough transcript of the talk, and the video is also below.
(Looks around at crowd) You are all less than 250 feet away from me. Haha, Scruff jokes.
I’m Michael James Schneider. I’m a writer for PQ Monthly and I write for my own wildly unpopular and awkwardly named blog. I write about a few topics, but lately I’ve been writing a lot about dating apps. In fact, so much so that people have started calling me The Scruff Whisperer. “Pause for laugh.”
In the fall of 2012, I found myself single and almost 40. I downloaded the Scruff app at the insistence of my ex. Now, I’ve been single for almost three years, I think I’ve become a professional spinster. I’ve taken the Buzzfeed “Which classic Dickens character are you?” quiz many times, change the answers I give, but I get Ms Havisham every time. Jokes.
To give you a little bit of background, what is this Scruff thing? A Scruff is a guy thinks he’s fly, also know as a buster. Wait no, it’s a dating app for bearded guys who want more Instagram followers. Wait no, it’s a location based mobile phone application that shows you a grid of available men who tend to skew to the hirsute end of the spectrum. Notice I said “available”, not necessarily “single”. I’m looking for something monogamous and long term. Not everyone is. Some guys are on there looking for friends and “workout buddies.” Me? I’m Alanis Morrisette looking for her next Dave Coulier. Continue reading
“Workout Buddies” (screencap by Shawn Jackson)
I was interviewed by Reggie Aqui at KGW, the local NBC affiliate here in Portland, about dating apps. I managed to make Scruff sound almost respectable! To see the full video, click this link. UGH WHY IS IT NOT EMBEDDABLE.
This is how it happens: you turn 40, in the fall of 2013. You write a cute post about turning 40, about hitting parked cars and falling down for no reason. It’s funny, but inside you’re actually still a little sad. You realize the earth is spinning through the same space it was a year earlier and it’s the exact time of year he told you no. You still think about him sometimes, but then you realize that he probably doesn’t think about you since the three manifesto-length texts you sent him probably forever sealed in his mind that you’re a creeper. You thought your 40th birthday would be a blowout, but it’s the opposite: friends can’t travel around Thanksgiving except to their families, the timing is off. You have a quiet drink with a friend at a bar you now don’t even remember. You realize you’re in for a long winter, or what you later call “Olive Garden’s Endless Heartbreak.” Continue reading
So much love for these Fools (photo by Jessica Sherman-Prince)
I studied theater in college, because of course I did. I mean, I didn’t get this weird entirely on my own, right? Then I fell in love, moved away from Albuquerque to Chicago for a few years, fell out of love, and eventually found my way back to New Mexico. It was then that I really immersed myself in the theater scene there. I helped found a Shakespeare company, directed for the first time, and found a passion for theatrical production design.
I moved to Los Angeles in 2001, ostensibly to start an acting career, but also because all of my friends made a mass-exodus to the west coast. I quickly found myself discouraged by the constant rejection. This isn’t making art, I argued in my own head, this is a business. There were so many other people who wanted it more than I did, and were far better at it than I was. I stepped away from pursuing acting, put my nose to the grindstone at my retail management job, and didn’t look back.
Fast forward a few years. Continue reading
Photo by Chase Person (from l to r, Jennie Kay, Michael James Schneider, Nick Mattos, Wayne Bund, Chase Person, Summer Olsson, Logan Lynn)
Two years ago, when I lived in Los Angeles, I left my job to take a year-long “artistic sabbatical”. I felt a creative itch that was brought about by working with my LA family at Sacred Fools Theater Company. A few months into that year, I went through some shit. I came out on the other side more determined than ever to create a life that was artistically fulfilling, and more than anything true and authentic to myself. I visited Portland for the first time in February of 2013, and instantly fell in love with it, thanks to my good friend and tour guide Summer Olsson. And then a funny thing happened: Continue reading
You know that feeling when you’ve worked on something for a really long time, and you release it into the world? It’s wonderful and terrifying. Those are the feelings I get when I announce the release of my first book, The Tropic Of Never. It wasn’t a difficult birth, but the conception was less than auspicious: Continue reading
from l. to r., Kevin Kauer, Michael James Schneider, Nick Mattos
This is how it works: life happens the same as always, day after day. You go to work, you go home, you eat ice cream on the couch and pet your cat, and you lose yourself in the routine. Then, one day, everything falls apart — and things get interesting. Then, things get really interesting. Continue reading
“Sexy Senior” (photo by Morgan Rider)
So this is weird. I’m born, I crawl, then I walk (that’s an exciting day). I learn to speak (my first sentence was purportedly “Give me the damn book”). I go to school, all sorts of schools. In middle school, I pronounce Yosemite “YO-suh-mite” in front of a class of peers who then laugh for a solid five minutes (this clearly wasn’t a formative memory at all). I listen to Christian Rock a lot, and there is a gap in my 80’s pop music history where I don’t really recognize “secular” music from that time.
I fumble awkwardly in high school. I’m the kid who hangs out with the Dungeons and Dragons crowd in the library. This is when my obsession with Star Trek starts. I die of dysentery numerous times on the Oregon Trail on Albuquerque High School’s solitary student computer. My favorite outfit is stonewashed denim jeans, a dark denim jacket, and a red and white striped shirt that made me look like a candy striper (Google it, kids). My vast Swatch collection was rivaled only by my collection of cassingles from Janet Jackson’s Rhythm Nation 1814 (fucking GOOGLE IT). I have an intense crush on a boy who plays cello, ruddy-cheeked Andrew, who barely acknowledges my existence, which makes me want him even more (this is clearly not formative at all either). Continue reading
photo by Summer Olsson, digital artistry by Tucker Cullinan
Do what you love. Be brave. Take a chance.
These are all things I’ve talked about often on this blog, since my decision to take an artistic sabbatical and share the journey with others. Recently, I met someone else who took a similar leap: Michelle Lesniak-Franklin, winner of Season 11 of Project Runway (yup, it was her I was writing about at the end of this previous post). You’ll remember her personal style and razor-sharp wit, and probably her obsession with wolves, too.
I met the Portland native at her studio last week to chat, and she was just as funny, tough, and candid as she appeared to be on the show. She was also game for a photo shoot in Portland’s Japanese Gardens, inspired by Hayao Miyazaki’s anime classic, “Princess Mononoke”.
Here’s Part 2 of the interview, click here for Part 1.
BLCKSMTH: We share an obsession for the periodic table of elements. My personal token of strength is the “Fe” symbol for Iron, and yours seems to be “Au” for Gold. When did the transition happen from the name of the brand “Michelle is well” to “Au”?
Michelle Lesniak-Franklin: I got advice from a friend and investor about the name “Michelle Is Well”, that it sounds like a hospital update. “Oh, we went to the hospital to visit Michelle, how is she?” “She’s doing great, Michelle is…well.” I never loved it either, I thought it sounded really juvenile, but was something that just stuck.
I like to be smart, and articulate, and slightly geeky. And so the periodic table…you know I have a little bit of a science background, it just stuck with me. And I wanted it to be Au, to represent a golden moment, a golden piece of clothing that will stay in your closet until the end of time. You know it’s geek chic, but there’s also something tough and hard about gold. Continue reading
(l. to r.) Michael James Schneider, Michelle Lesniak Franklin. Photo and mask construction by Summer Olsson, digital artistry by Tucker Cullinan.
Do what you love. Be brave. Take a chance.
These are all things I’ve talked about often on this blog, since my decision to take an artistic sabbatical and share the journey with others. Recently, I met someone else who took a similar leap: Michelle Lesniak-Franklin, winner of Season 11 of Project Runway (yup, it was her I was writing about at the end of this previous post). You’ll remember her personal style and razor-sharp wit, and probably her obsession with wolves, too.
I met the Portland native at her studio this week to chat, and she was just as funny, tough, and candid as she appeared to be on the show. She was also game for a photo shoot in Portland’s Japanese Gardens, inspired by Hayao Miyazaki’s anime classic, “Princess Mononoke”.
BLCKSMTH: You were excited when I brought up the “Princess Mononoke” concept of the photo shoot, are you a fan of Miyazaki?
Michelle Lesniak-Franklin: I am, definitely!
Explain a little bit of the wolf obsession, please.
At the time of being on the show, you’re alone during filming, and you don’t have your friends and family there. You don’t have your support system for weeks and weeks, and you’re cut off from the world. I felt, too, that my garments weren’t being received very well. Not having the fashion background, it started making me think, “Oh, I’m not good at this, no one will like my aesthetic, it’s not supposed to be out there in the world.” It started getting me down, and I felt like “You can’t be in this dark space, think of a power animal, put yourself into an animal that can survive through all odds.” And it was the wolf. And I ended up being pretty dangerous for the other people. Continue reading
Neil Gaiman and Michael James Schneider, on the set of “Neverwhere”
Fourth and final in a series. Here is Part 1, Part 2, where I speak to the inspiration and construction, and Part 3, where I interview the playwright.
The project I’ve put so much of myself into, alongside an amazingly talented cast and crew who did the same, is finally up and running! Designing the set for Neil Gaiman’s “Neverwhere” (adapted by Rob Kauzlaric, see my interview with him here) has been a dream project, I’ve learned so much from it, and it’s strange to suddenly be done.
And then last night got even stranger: Neil Gaiman himself came to see the show… Continue reading
Obviously, painfully staged photo of Michael James Schneider
photo by Summer Olsson
10 months ago, I left my safety net in a career that I had for 20 years, and that I was great at. I put my career on pause for a few months to pursue things that only fulfilled me artistically and creatively, and I knew I was starting from the ground up: I’ve never been trained as a painter, as a writer, or as a set designer or interior decorator (if you’re using The Internets for the very first time, congratulations! You can click any of those red words to see examples of my stuff). Was it scary? Hell yes. Did I second guess myself? Uh, yeah, constantly. But before I started making art, I used to feel like I was complacent, sleepwalking through life.
For about a month after I left my job, I treated it like a vacation. “I’m gonna go to New York for a couple of weeks and live it up!” “I’m gonna sit on my ass all day and read back issues of McSweeney’s!” “I’m going to take about 800 pictures of my cat Ned!” But I quickly realized that I was my own boss now, I would have to give myself the daily kick in the pants to motivate myself. So I wrote down my plan, and then set it in motion. I started this blog about the journey, opened up my Etsy shop. Then the tour of my LA apartment was published on Apartment Therapy…and then the shit hit the fan. It sent me reeling, and made me flee Los Angeles for softer pastures. For awhile there “How are you doing, Mike?” was a bit of a loaded question that people started being afraid to ask, lest I burst into tears.
But I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Here’s why: Continue reading
View of Portland from the Steel Bridge
The Detroit Sanctuary Project
I’m from Michigan.
It’s funny though, as you get older, you run as far away as possible from where you came, run fast as you can from that normal job and normal life, and change your life six ways from Kansas and back, then you tell everyone you meet you’re from the place you did everything in your power to leave.
So yeah, I’m from Michigan.
Which is good, because somehow that seems to satisfy the question of “Why?” every time someone asks me. And they nod, as though I were offering the one explanation that will justify the situation at hand.
Why? Why am I intent on taking a picture of every house of worship in Detroit? Why is this clearly liberal, obviously (and quite specifically) non-religious, more-than-likely-not-wearing-pants womanchild putting her face forward as the spokesperson for the anywhere from 1200-2500 churches, synagogues, temples and sanctuaries in Detroit? Continue reading
You know that pleasant moment when you find out a friend, who you already knew was gifted and smart, is actually quite a bit more talented than you thought? I was in Powell’s Books a couple of weeks ago and stumbled across a graphic novel, Not My Bag, that my friend Sina Grace wrote. Taken from his experiences of working at a certain retailer that shall remain nameless (which is how we originally met), it’s an emotionally complex and brave work. Read it. Buy it.
I invited Sina to be the next contributing editor for BLCKSMTH, and he accepted. But I’ll let him tell you himself! Take it away, Sina:
Sina Grace (photo by Megan Mack)
“This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things”
from l to r: Summer Olsson, Michael James Schneider, Sammi, the extremely patient Clyde Common bartender
“Two roads diverged in a wood”…no, that’s not the quote I’m trying to remember. “Life moves pretty fast; you don’t stop and look around once in awhile you could miss it.” Yup, that’s the one. Thanks Ferris.
I spent the last week exploring Portland, Oregon, for the first time. I fell in love with the city, as I had a suspicion I would. I met a lot of really wonderful people, reconnected with a crap-ton of old friends, conquered formerly-debilitating fears, and almost sliced people’s fingers off when I gave them my business card. The life-changing consequences of all this love are at the end of this post.
1) Summer in Winter! I had a blast creating art with my friend Summer Olsson (Google her)…she’s truly a fun, talented, smart person to create art with! (UPDATE: This was pretty much our soundtrack the entire visit). One brainstorm of ours was to create the characters of Fern and Clyde, two clowns moving to Portland. With the skilled photography of Aaron Warren, we dressed and painted our faces, and created a story in photos and a 6-second Vine clip that tells their story. Follow me on Facebook to get the whole story, released on Wednesdays and Saturdays! Continue reading
First in a series of five. If you’ve already read this, here is Part 2.
On December 31st, 1991, John Edward Hastings was a handsome, bright young 28 year old. He was known for being gregarious, spontaneous, and generous, and had a large circle of friends who loved him. He also happened to be a cocaine and heroin addict, an addiction that started in earnest when he was 26. After losing a great job and burning through his savings, his drug supply was funded by a friend of his in exchange for companionship. And on a sunny day 22 years ago, John Hastings was watching the New Year’s Eve parade in Phoenix, Arizona, when he suddenly became fatigued, stumbled against a wall, slid down it, and died. It was later presumed that he died of heart failure, brought about by the effects of drugs on his system. How do I know these details? Because John Hastings was my big brother. I have decided to find my brother’s “killer”, the woman who supplied my brother the funding that fueled his addiction. Continue reading
And thus ends the strangest, most confusing, alchemical three months of my life. Starting August 27th, the day of the Apartment Therapy spread, and ending this past Sunday, I had a life-changing experience. And yes, I live my life transparently, but this story is just for me, for now.
Woke up this morning in such a great mood, and with breathtaking clarity. I am starting a new chapter of my life with a clear head and tabula rosa. No, recovering from this won’t be easy, or quick. As always, will keep y’all posted on the artistic, creative consequences. In the meantime, here is a fan-made video, set to Radiohead’s “Motion Picture Soundtrack” from their Kid A album. It’s directed by Jay Eckensberger. It’s muddy and low-res, but I love it. I’m feelin’ the lyrics, except for “I think you’re crazy”…I don’t think anyone’s crazy for saying what they need.
